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My Inquiry

Dear Dr. Carlson,

I have an urgent request. I am an aspiring hip-hop artist and I have my first big tour date coming up. What I need from your people is a grill of gold teeth that have letters carved into them. The record label is more than willing to pay for this, but I need to be sure that you will do the right job. The grill will cover both the top and the bottom teeth to at least the incisors. I’m positive that this will be no problem for you, but I have a couple of questions: 1) can you do the engravings? No rapper these days gets a gold grill without having something to say with it. 2) will I be able to rap immediately after getting the grill. I am still working in the studio, and I’d like the grill issue to be sort of a lunch-time thing, if you know what i’m talking about. 3) Is there a return and replacement policy if i’m not satisfied with the grill? I don’t know if I get to keep my original teeth or you donate them, but I’d like to keep them, just in case. Well, if you got the time, I got the money, so I’m sure we’ll be keeping in touch. Email me as soon as possible.

Regarding,

Rick Cabrera (or DJ. 3CPO)

Their response:

Good morning Rick, my name is Mary Jo and I work for Dr. Craig. Carlson. We do appreciate your interest in our website.

Unfortunately Dr. Carlson will not be able to help you as he hasn’t worked with gold in many years. He does wish you good luck in your new career!

Mary Jo
Craig Carlson, DDS

My response:

Dr. Mary Jo,

What about platinum? I man who’s gonna have a platinum record on his wall can for sure have that on his teeth, ya know. I should have thought of that in the first place. Platinum is better than gold, when it comes to hip hop. I can supply the platinum all you gotta do is the work. If you can’t can you reference me to someone who will? Or is it just easier to do it my self? I think that I could, with like some pliers and a screwdriver or some tools. Thats what you dentists do anyways right? If you could be so nice, send me some instructions on how to get the job done myself. And if you could sell me some tools. the record company will pay for it. I would really appreciate it. Cash in your pocket, bring you up like a rocket! Thanks for being so kind to me.

Peace,

Rick Cabrera (DJ3CPO)

Their response:

Rick,

Sorry Rick, Dr. Carlson works with porcelain. If you want a beautiful smile, like Usher’s, this is the place. We do not have any materials/tools to offer you. I’m sorry I don’t have anyone to refer you to. Maybe someone in your record company can recommend a dentist to do the work for you.

Good Luck!
Mary Jo

My response:

Dr. Mary Jo,

YOU ARE RIGHT! Usher does have a pretty pimp smile. I can’t believe I didn’t think about that. Thank you. I need to make you my agent or something, with all the good ideas. How much they payin you there, I bet I can double it. I’ll get back to you. Is Dr. Carlson the main man to work that smile magic? In your opinion? Thanks for being so cool to me. I like your flow.

Peace

Rick Cabrera (DJ3CPO)

Their response:

Rick,

Dr. Carlson is the man. Let us know when you would like a complimentary consultation and we will get you scheduled!

Have a great day!
Mary Jo

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