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My Inquiry:

Dear Luna Architecture,

I have a situation that can only be solved through architectural means. My wife has placed a restraining order on me (for reasons we shall not discuss), and so I need to extend the home 100 yards horizontally. We are situated on a substantial piece of land, so this wont be a problem. I do not want her to move out, nor do I want to entirely split the house in two, as I still love her and am trying to get back into her good graces. So there should be a hallway where I can see her and yell to her (loving things) from the distance mandated by the law. We will also need to extend the swimming pool and hot tub by similar dimensions so that we can both use it at once. Since she does the laundry and the cooking, you can keep that part of the house on her side, while the master bedroom, television, and billiards table needs to stay on my part of the house. This shouldn’t be a problem. The tennis court outside will have to be extended as well, if we are to purge our hostilities out on the court. This arrangement will be better for the children, as they only have to walk a short distance to get from one parents domicile to the other. I don’t want them to live in a broken home, only a very long one. I can also know if she is bringing men home and what they are up to. Money is no object in this situation, as I am a successful (very) entrepreneur. It is only my family that matters. Please get back to me as soon as possible. This needs to be an expedient process. Thanks for your help in this matter.

Regards,

Rick Cabrera

Their Response:

From: Charli Valadez [mailto:info@lunaarchitecture.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 6, 2014 10:55 AM
To: ‘iloverickcabrera@gmail.com’
Subject: RE: Very Urgent Matter

Thank you for your interest in Luna Architecture for your home addition. I can certainly relate to your sensitive issue and look forward to working with you. My first concern with your requests would be the pool expansion. I love the creative ideas however we want to be sure that we do not overextend the pool as this may cause several issues. Together, we can contract a structural and also maybe an aquatic engineer to generate a report for us indicating the possible concerns with the expansion.

Please let me know a good time to meet to go over your expansion. We will then generate a fee proposal and begin designing the addition after your approval and the retainer of 50% of the total fee has been received.

Have a great day!

My Response:

Dear Charli,

Thanks for your quick response. I knew that you would be sympathetic to my dilemma. The more speedily we can get this taken care of, the quicker that I gain the information that I need. Can you get a hold of two way mirrors? I’d like to be able to see into her side of the house. I might have to use night vision high-powered binoculars to see what is going on over there at these new distances. As for the tennis court, I might have to change my mind. My game has gone off in the last few years and I don’t think I would be able to hit the ball that far. My wife, on the other hand, has a tennis instructor (whom I am paying for), and who has spending a lot of time at the house lately, for that matter. I don’t have time for tennis instruction, so I don’t feel she is playing fair. I have to spend my time making an income for the benefit of my family. I am sure you understand. Does your company engage in security devices, such as cameras? If you do not engage in security, will you be able to refer me to THE BEST security camera company in the area? This will require another room on my side of the house, one discreet with viewing screens, so that I can keep tabs on her during the day. The room can be hidden behind a trap door in my library. This is a unique architectural experience for your company, but I assure you that it will be a very lucrative one. I will refer your company to all of my friends, some dealing with similar problems, and also very wealthy. Please respond as soon as possible. Thanks for your interest in this matter and you will be hearing for me as soon as I get the logistics together.

Regards,

Rick Cabrera

Their Response:

Rick,

I can most definitely get you in touch with a security company. We love this idea as well. The tennis courts were not brought up in your last email. Again, we would hate to overextend the court as this may cause an issue. The feasibility report will provide us with solutions to any pending issues.

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