imageOn Sat, 17 May 2014 09:55:37 CDT, dxmj8-4440715003@sale.craigslist.org
Subject: trade
Date: Sat, 17 May 2014 09:27:45 -0500

Their inquiry:

4×4.Just passed inspection in January and new tags in March.. XLT with 4 inch lift and 4 brand new BFGs. Runs good and everything works( front fuel gauge only works sometimes). It is a 460 gas v8 with auto,cold air cleaner and flow master muffler.Pretty clean with full size spare in bed.. Will trade for older muscle car, fox body Mustang or 1993-1995 Ford lighting of equal value.. or a trade with cash?? What do you have???


My Response:

From: 9f27d84e1c733cf4bfddb19d202a78d6@reply.craigslist.org

I am glad you’re willing to trade. I have a van but would rather have a car. I no longer need the spaciousness of the van. It really is a great vehicle and I have invested much time and energy into its upkeep.

There are a few interesting details about the vehicle:

The van used to be used for driving instruction so there is a brake on both
the driver’s and passenger’s side. This is not a flaw of engineering. It has
come in handy in so many ways. My wife can drive and text, with my young
daughter in control of the second brake, without worrying about hitting the
car in front of her. You can also stop the van abruptly if you see a 100
dollar bill on the side of the road. This happened to me once. We converted
the van into a low rider, with really groovy hydraulics, and neon lights
inside. The hydraulics actually help put the baby to sleep when she is being
grumpy. Great feature to have when raising babies.

DO NOT go over 125 mph in this van. Its back wheels move much faster than
its front wheels and can end up in front of them. This would cause serious
damage to the axles. And the steering wheel has this strange feature where
it can turn in circles in the left direction without stopping. The wheels
move only a little, but the steering wheel keeps spinning left, kinda like a
bicycle tire. I’ve never had a problem with it. Any good driver can handle
this small feature. Even better is the back windshield. I had it painted
with my last name “Cabrera” in Old English letters. It has multiple uses.
When Ramon Cabrera ran for mayor in 1996, I pasted stickers above it
saying “vote for.” I probably got him some needed votes, even though he
I am sure this trade will be equally valuable for both of us. Email me soon
because I have others interested. I like your car better though. Thanks for
the interest and I will hear from you soon.

Regards, Rick Cabrera

Their response:

sorry but not interested at this time.. Thanks

My Response:

What if I throw in the spinning rims that I removed and the 48 inch flat screen TV I had in the back? Your children can play the Xbox while youre on the road. I also have an original autographed Shakira poster that I hung from the inside, framed and everything. I really need to get rid of this thing. It brings too much attention to my wife who drives it to work. And it strangely only locks from the outside and so she has to have her coworkers at the hospital let her out. Just give it go and you won’t regret it. Thanks.


Rick Cabrera

Their response:

It looks pretty cool, but I am single and dont have any kids.. Thanks anyways.. If you sell it I will take 7700 for the truck..

My response:

But I guarantee you won’t be single if you had this pimp ride. Pussy be fallin from the sky when I drive this. That’s another reason my wife wants me to git rid of it. The ladies, oh, the ladies. They cannot stay away. I don’t even know why I got married. I was like the Ice-T of Houston. But when my wife chick got her medical degree, I figured I’d get hitched, thinking her cash flow could buy me some pimp ass shit. Now she wants me to get rid of the ride, wear polo shirts, and get a job. But aint that why you marry a pediatrician, to not have to work? Crazy. But she bitches that she’s gonna cut my allowance if I don’t get rid of the bachelor van. Thats why I wanna hand it off to someone who will take good care of it. She might even want me to get that truck of yours. It seems tough, like a ghetto rooster. How much can you go if I trade in the van, poster, and flat screen? I’ll have to keep the spinning rims to put on the truck. Thanks.

Rick Cabrera

Their response:

Sorry but not interested in the van.. I will let the truck go for 7700 cash..

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