Dear Parkside Restaurant,
I would like to apply for the job of owner of your restaurant. I have never been an owner before, but I enjoy telling people what to do and how to do it. I once told a woman to do a cartwheel inside of the bed of a truck, and she did it. She did not get hurt, as I would not allow a situation like that to occur. This is another reason I would make a good owner. I would never do anything to get someone hurt or injured. Neither will I engage in romantic relationships with the staff. My father met my mother that way, and I feel both of them to be unethical, dubious people because of that. I will set high standards for the employees. I have had practice with this, making sure that my wife exercises two times daily to stay fit. It is important to stay fit, a nugget of wisdom that I will impart on the employees when I am owner there. My motto is “if you want my money, stay on the treadmill and keep running.” My wife is very fit and and I will ensure that the staff at my restaurant will be fit when I get the job. I have not had experience owning a restaurant, but everyone has to start somewhere. I have practiced becoming an owner, and I look my self in the mirror each morning and repeat positive affirmations about my personal goals. I am confident that they will materialize. Have you ever read “The Secret?” I have been reading it for four days now and I have been able to materialize some of my goals, such as speed reading and running really fast. This book even provided the motivation for this email to own your restaurant, and I have affirmed that I am destined for this job. I also have read Tony Robbins books, Brian Tracy books, and the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. They are all very inspiring and I would suggest that you and your current employees read them all. I am generally a hard worker, wake up early, and don’t need lunch breaks. I am also not prescribed anything that would cause any hazards. I am about 6’3”, very handsome, and very strong for my weight class. My mother says that I am the best looking man on the planet of Earth. All of these qualities make me the ideal candidate for owner of the restaurant. I plan to hear from you soon. Thank you.
This is exceptional! you made my day
Harlan Scott I Operations
Your welcome. Glad I could make you chuckle.