Dear St. David’s Medical Center,
I’m glad that you are considering my proposal for a new restaurant next to the Emergency Room, named “Ned’s Emergen-Seafood.” Here is the full plan that you asked for. I know that the Emergency Room can leave people waiting and hungry, Ned’s will be a place that they can catch a meal during their wait. We will have lobster, shrimp pies, halibut, lemon juice, and alligator bites. This plan of ours will make the wait feel much shorter, and your doctors will receive visitors that are less hostile because of the waiting period. It will also offer discounts of 5% for all the staff of the hospital. Just think about it! People might come to the Emergency Room just to eat! We will have a fine selection of beer and wine, but I assure you that it will be a non-smoking establishment. I have begun to audition bands for weekends and will have karaoke Tuesdays. I will hire on some of the management staff from my former hospital-themed restaurants “Ned’s IC4U” (Instant Cuisine for You) and “Ned’s Bar-B-Cued Ward.” These are still up and running and making a profit. I cannot see how “Ned’s Emergen-Seafood” could not profit as well. We have a built in clientele of people who are stuck in a waiting room. And we could have the little devices that light up in other restaurants to tell people their table is ready, but in this case, to inform them that the doctor is ready to see them. It’s perfect! I am so excited about your interest in this project. Thank you for your willingness to understand my vision. Our vision.
Although we here at St. David’s think your idea is unique, we don’t think the idea to have a seafood restaurant is either appropriate nor sanitary in an emergency room. We appreciate your interest in trying to make the E.R. a more inviting place those burdened with traumatic incidents, but unfortunately we cannot accommodate you at this time. We hope that you find another venue for your innovative entrepreneurial endeavors.
St. David’s Medical Center Administration